Friday, October 23, 2009

Back to basics

The other day, i sat in my tiny bed, pondering the way people think. They say (whoever "they" is) that you are happiest when your environment and people you are around are cheerful. Well i've heard that a few times and noticed its not exactly true. i've been living in a very happy-go-lucky place for a while and each day i seem to be falling deeper into my nightmares. Just when i think i'll get out, i get a wave of desperation and dissapointment, and slide back down.
Now, i am a very optimistic person. People hardly ever see me upset. On the outside i hide it all very well, and on the inside i fool myself. It's gotten to the point where i dont truly know whether i'm content with my life or not. i cannot distinguish between my lies and the bold truth. I feel as though i need someone at all times or else i am alone. i am constantly looking for that prince charming, only to be dissapointed in the fact that there is no such thing. still, i have hope.
if there were no such thing as true love, i believe the world would end. there would be no happiness, no life without love. Though my years are young, i feel as though i am deeply missing out, as if my time for love will never come. But everyday when i see mothers kissing their babyies goodbye, or lovers sharing intimate secrets or the way a husband looks at his wife with complete adoration, it's a reminder that there is Love and soon i will experience that same feeling too. so i shall stay strong and hope, and suppress with all my power that feeling of being alone.


Infinity spins your core around
obliviousness can't be found
desire burns to no extent
reality is now unkempt
loose ends are bound restricting air
the thoughts unwound without a care
attempt to leave but can't deny
theres nothing left but you and i

-Emilia. sometime before the begining of summer

4 comments:

Unknown said...

It just goes to show that when someone looks like they have it all they can still be hurting on the outside. I used to bottle things up and always be an ear and a shoulder to others and you'd find yourself down when you are on your own - but now I take the lid off and let some of it simmer out ☺☺ really good writing!

Kate said...

Hey thanks for the visit :)

http://secretofficeconfessions.blogspot.com

Mindy said...

You sound like you could write a story hehe :D

I like your blog, now i'm following you too, thanks for following me :D

xoxoxoxox

Sarah said...

maybe there is no true love. long marriages are long because they learn to take the good with the bad. parents' love maybe the most pure and complete, and yet you hear parents hurting their children everyday. happy people don't make you happy, happy you makes you happy. good luck on the road of finding yourself - like most of us. cheers.